Some color for my thoughts

Before I begin, I have to say that I was hesitant about publishing such a personal post to share with anyone to read.  But I find that I gain so much by having this blog as an outlet to express myself in all the ways that I choose.  I don’t know if any of you other bloggers out there do this, but I quite often will go back and reread over and over again the past posts I have written, I remember the experiences, look at the pictures, and recall each particular moment, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  My hope is to have this blog as a scrapbook and journal to record my thoughts and feelings, as well as the pictures of the fun things we do, and interesting people we meet.  It is a little of my personal family history, hopefully one that I will be able to share with my kids, and maybe their kids, and how ever far back it reaches.  I would like to dedicate this post to my parents, to my beautiful mother and my strong, handsome father, and personally thank them in my own way for all the sacrifices they made for me.   Thanks for being strong examples to look up to and for molding me into the woman I am today.  I hope that I can be as strong and loving of an example to my children as you both were to me.

Lately I have been working for a temp agency.   I have done a few different jobs, I worked as an assistant for the Senior Manager of Operations at the Cayman Islands Airport, then I worked for a law firm doing some research at the court house for a big case they were working on, and then helping the firm get caught up on some administrative assignments.   Well this week I have had the entire week off.  I am waiting for my next job, which starts on Monday and I will be working at a bank. 

I have enjoyed having the entire week to do absolutely anything I wanted, the only thing is that everyone else I know was working or in school.  So I had a lot of alone time.  Most days I just stayed home, I utilized the fitness center here, and spent ample time in our pool.  I have forced myself to refrain from turning on the television and wasting away in front of it.  I read a bit, take naps, but mostly I find that my mind often drifts off into an array of subjects.   I have had a lot of time to think and ponder, and have had opportunity to receive personal revelation from my lord and savior.  I have felt so strongly, stronger than ever before, of my saviors love for me.  It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the feelings I felt.  I have felt the active role of the savior in my life and truly know that he is aware of me, he knows my needs, and wants what is best for me.   I have felt so much happiness and gratitude for my life and all my blessings.   A couple weeks ago I was set apart for my calling in the relief society presidency, and was given a blessing by my Branch President.  It was a really powerful experience; in the blessing he told me that my savior was proud of me.  Hearing those words brought tears to my eyes as I truly felt the sincerity of their meaning.   It went on to bless me with many wonderful things and seemed very detailed and personal for being set apart.  But for it I am most grateful. 

I have been thinking a lot about parenting and motherhood and the tremendous responsibility that it entails.  Am I really ready to be entirely accountable for another life, and for that life to look to me for its every want and need?   Similar thoughts and questions led me to reflect on my own parents and their tremendous example.  I have two awesome parents.   They are both extremely patient and even tempered.  I can recall several experiences as I kid where we would do something naughty and my parents would handle the situation with remarkable patience and love.   When we lived in our house in Eagle, ID  my little brother Chandler was probably about 5, so my little sister Chelacie was around 4, and our cousin Chase is right around the same age as them 4 or 5.  Chase would come over to play during the day quite often.   To my mom it probably felt like she was taking care of triplets, kudos to her cause when those three got together they would get into all sorts of mischief.   I remember one day in particular, my parents had just bought these beautiful new couches.  They were white with big colorful flowers on them and they were in our front room.  We were told that these were our nice couches only for sitting nicely and to use when guests came over.  Then in our family room we had some older couches that we could play a little rougher on.  One day, the triplets were playing, and being all mischievous as usual, and they somehow got a hold of a jar of grape jelly.   They then proceeded to dump the entire jar of grape jelly all over the new couches.  I remember walking into the room and seeing the mess and running to go get my mother.  I was sure those three were going to get in all sorts of trouble, and that they would be punished.   I remember watching my mom closely to see how she would react.  Well guess what, she was so kind and patient about the whole thing.  She told the triplets  what they did was wrong and not to do it again, but she did so with a kind, soft voice, she didn’t yell or scream, I am not even sure if she put those kids in timeout.  But I know for sure she didn’t spank them.  She then began cleaning up the mess and trying to get the stain out.  And guess what else, the stain came out.  As I remembered this I thought to myself, would I be able to show such patience and self control if that same experienced happened to me?  I honestly don’t know, but I hope so.

My mom always had a genius way of being able to get out stains.  Some of the most impossible stains that one would think would never come out she miraculously got out.  Another of my mother’s many talents is that she is very artistic and has an eye for making old ugly items that nobody would want into something beautiful.  She was always collecting old rundown furniture from garage sales, auctions, the DI, I think she even saved some stuff from the dump a time or two and brought it home and stored it in our garage with the intention to make it into something beautiful and nice.  Now I need to cut my mom some slack, all of us kids tease her relentlessly for doing this, we know her intentions are good, but sometimes those intentions are not always followed through.   However, sometimes they are and anytime we want to redo a room all we have to do is go through the garage and see what kind of hidden treasure we can muster up. 

When I was in high school I wanted to redo my bedroom.  My mom helped me; we found two dressers and a vanity with a mirror and a little stool, all of which were mismatched and looked ugly to me.  Oh, and these items all came from our garage.   She assured me she knew how to make them look nice, but that they needed time and work.   So I agreed and we started to work on them together.  We started by completely sanding each item down to a smooth surface, then we painted several coats, then added new matching hardware and Tada! They were finished.  She was right they looked great.  Looking back at it I think my mom should start her own decorating show, she has great ideas.  Sometimes I watch design on a dime, and I always think to myself, my mom could do that.  

She helped me do the same thing when Chris and I got married and moved into our first apartment together.  She went through the garage and brought me a bunch of old furniture to redo and put in our new home.  My mom, dad, brother, and sister all drove down to Utah and we spent a Saturday working together.  We laid each piece on the lawn and begin working, sanding and painting, and putting in new hardware.  Thanks family for helping to make Chris and I’s first home special.

As kids my parents would dedicate at least one Saturday a month as family project day.   This is a day where we couldn’t plan anything with friends; it was a day that we as a family would spend together working on the house or in the yard, doing anything from painting, spring cleaning, renovations on our home, yard work, there was always something that needed to be worked on.  Kudos again to my parents for making us do this, as kids we sure did give them grief about it complaining and whining, the whole shebang.   As a result some of my best childhood memories are of all of us working together as a family.  These activities installed family unity, taught us valuable skills, how to work hard, and how to serve each other.  I have every intention of doing the same with my kids, in hopes that they will gain the same benefits that I did.   

My dad is the hardest worker I know.  It was important to him that his children knew how to work hard and had a strong work ethic.  He taught us this by his example, my dad could do any job, and no job was above or beneath him.  He could fix or clean anything.  I have many memories of him cleaning and helping out around the house and yard, he would do dishes, clean toilets, mow the lawn, feed the dogs, sweep the floor, plunge the toilet, fix the leaking faucet, it didn’t matter what it was, if it needed to be done he would do it.

My dad was is very educated, he has his master’s degree, and he continues learning to this day.  He is always reading books and teaching himself new skills.  If the car was having problems, he would read a book and teach himself how to fix it.  He taught himself how to do all sorts of improvements on our home, he installed the wood floors, he installed kitchen counters, he installed the kitchen cupboards, he tore out the shower and put in a jet tub for my mom in her bathroom.  He completely renovated the kids’ bathroom upstairs.   He built a fence for our back yard.  There isn’t a square foot in our home that my dad hasn’t worked on in some way to make it better.   If there is ever anything that needs to be done he does it, and if he doesn’t know how, he reads books, asks questions and teaches himself how. 

My dad enjoys learning.  When I was getting ready to graduate High School I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to go to college.   My dad was so supportive, he went with me to multiple colleges, and he helped me apply for scholarships.  Without his help there is no way I would have ever gone.   I remember when we first stepped foot on campus he got so excited for me.  I could tell that he thoroughly enjoyed his college experience and in turn it made me want to have an opportunity for a similar experience.  Because of him I am now a college graduate.  I too loved my college experience.   Since then, my younger brother has served a mission and is currently in college, and getting ready to apply for med school.  My brother just younger than him is on his mission, and plans to attend college when he gets home, and my little sister just started her first year of college about a week ago and already loves it.   I think I speak for all us kids when I say that you two did some phenomenal parenting.

My parents make a great team.  They work well together and have been a great example to me.  This winter they will have been married for 28 years.   I truly am indebted to you both for all the sacrifices you have made.  Thank you for all you have taught me throughout my life for all that you continue to teach me.   Words can’t express how grateful I am to be blessed to have been sent to earth to to two amazing people who I love with all my heart, and who love each other, and who love me.